35 Questions to Ask Your Partner About Love, Sex & the Future
Swagata Deshmukh - April 30, 2025
Try these questions to ask your partner, something you’ve never asked before. The answers might surprise you.
"What are we?" is just the beginning.
Relationships are basically like group projects. Except it’s just the two of you, and one of you is probably doing most of the emotional labour (kidding! kind of). Whether you’re a few dates in or a few years deep, asking the right questions can turn a good relationship into a great one. We're talking the juicy stuff. The deep stuff. The “OMG you think that during sex?” stuff.
Let’s dive in. Here are some of the most important intimate questions to ask your partner.
The Love Check-In
Love languages, childhood influences, and how you both show up—these questions reveal your partner’s emotional blueprint.
Try asking:
1. “What does love feel like for you?”
2. “Do you believe in soulmates or just really good timing?”
3. “What’s something I do that makes you feel really cared for?”
4. “How did your parents’ relationship shape your views on love?”
5. “What’s your love language and how do you really want it expressed?”
The Sexy Talk (But Make It Deep)
Yes, we’re going there. Because great sex isn’t just about positions. It’s about communication. Here are our suggestions for sexual questions to ask your partner:
Start with:
1. “What’s something you've always wanted to try but haven’t?”
2. “What turns you on that I don’t know about yet?”
3. “What’s your favourite kind of foreplay- mental or physical?”
4. “Do you prefer spontaneous sex or planned (but spicy) nights?”
5. “What makes sex feel safe and exciting for you?”
6. “Do you ever feel shy about asking for what you want in bed? How can I make it easier?”
7. “Have you ever had a bad experience that changed how you think about sex?”
Bonus round (for the brave):
1. “Have you ever faked it?”
2. “Do you ever feel pressure to perform a certain way?”
3. “Would you be into toys or games in the bedroom?”
The Forever Forecast
If you’re in it for the long haul, these questions to ask your partner help you understand if your partner is on the same page or even reading the same book.
Some crystal-ball Qs:
1. “Do you want to get married someday? Why or why not?”
2. “What’s your take on kids: yes, no, maybe, someday?
3. “Where do you want to live long-term? City, forest, Mars?”
4. “What does ‘growing old together’ look like for you?”
5. “What scares you about building a life with someone?”
Emotional Baggage Claim
This section encourages honest chats about past relationships, trust issues, and how to support each other through it.
Ask things like:
1. “What’s something from your past that still impacts your relationships today?”
2. “Have you ever been heartbroken? What helped you heal?”
3. “What triggers you during conflict and how can I handle it better?”
4. “Do you find it easy or hard to ask for emotional support?”
5. “When you're upset, do you prefer space or comfort?”
The Money Talk
Because love is free, but rent sure isn’t. From spending habits to savings goals, this convo helps avoid future awkwardness and aligns your financial values early on.
Ask:
1. “What was money like growing up in your family?”
2. “Are you more of a spender or a saver?”
3. “How do you feel about splitting costs in a relationship?”
4. “What’s something you'd never want to compromise on financially?”
5. “Would you want to combine finances someday or keep things separate?”
Growth, Goals & Dreams
Because a relationship isn’t just about who you are now—it’s about where you’re headed. This section of questions to ask your partner gets into ambition, self-improvement, and how you can support each other’s growth, individually and together.
Ask:
1. “What’s one big personal goal you're working toward right now?”
2. “Where do you see yourself in 5 years and how do I fit into that?”
3. “What does success look like to you?"
4. “How would you like to be supported when going after a dream?”
5. “What would make you feel truly fulfilled in life?”
So go ahead and try these questions to ask your partner, something you’ve never asked before. The answers might surprise you. The conversations might change everything.
And if all else fails? There’s always Naughty Cards.
