Poly Relationships: What To Consider Before Getting Involved
Swagata Deshmukh - Aug 12, 2024
Tired of dal chawal monogamy? Wanna tickle your taste buds with variety, a.k.a. poly relationship? Consider these factors before committing to more partners.
Having grown up in traditional Indian families, our idea of relationships has always been restricted to heterosexual monogamy. We always thought that only a man and woman could be together, no more partners or sexualities involved. But as we are growing up and opening ourselves to the real world, we are realizing that this is a very oppressive way of loving. Manifesting your love life with more partners isn’t always cheating. There are many ways to love and you can explore them ethically. And that is where poly relationships come in.
What Is The Meaning Of Poly Relationships?
Poly relationships mean you can be in a relationship with multiple partners, provided you have consent from everyone involved. It is also called ethical non-monogamy and there are many reasons one may consider it. Some people find love in more than one person. Some people feel that their needs cannot be met by just one person. Some people are unsure about their wants and assume exploring multiple partners can help them understand better.
There are more reasons for a person to get into a poly relationship. But it is not easy to juggle relationships with different people. Poly relationships are legal but marrying multiple people is confusing in India. You must do an in-depth evaluation of whether you and your partner(s) are capable enough to be in one. You can also read poly relationship books for that. Here are some important poly relationship rules you should know and consider before claiming a poly tag!
Figuring Out Expectations
First, you must understand your and your partner’s needs. You can explore such a dynamic only if both of you are on the same page. A poly relationship also brings different people and their stories into the mix. You will have to adjust your life to accommodate the new partners’ needs while making sure your own needs are being met. Along with this, every partner needs to know their position in this web of relationships. Remember that breakups or prioritizing can happen constantly.
This doesn‘t mean a poly relationship is too complicated to be real. All you gotta do to make it work is be open, honest and adhere to the pre-decided rules. If you want to change anything within the relationship, everyone needs to know and agree to it.
Boundaries & Communication
This one is a no-brainer but is important to be listed in the poly relationship rules. Boundaries play a very important role in multi-partner dynamics. All of you should be clear about the type of polyamorous relationship you are getting into. Whether there will be a primary partner or how many partners will be involved will help in setting your relationship on the right course. Everyone can date each other or just one partner. Whichever type you go for, you must understand that you cannot disrespect any of your partner’s partners.
Scheduling Time
Scheduling time is not only limited to allotting time to each partner but you should also have some me-time. Balancing every relationship and partner can get exhausting, leaving little room for you to connect with yourself. Hence, you need to go on solo dates or stay back at home and use your Pulse massager by yourself. You can also relieve stress with a massage.
When you have this sorted out, you must figure out how to give each of your partners the required time and attention. You should know what the love languages for couples are and plan your time with your partners accordingly. If you tend to lean towards just one partner, it might impact your relationship with other partners. Once you have that decided, your partner cannot disturb you while you are sharing your date night kit with another partner. So, it is extremely important to schedule your time properly to keep each of your partners happy.
What A Poly Relationship Cannot Do
A poly relationship cannot satisfy you, your partner, or any of your needs if you are unsure of what you want. This will only lead to confusion among everyone and possibly lead to heartbreaks. It cannot fix your existing relationship with a partner if it is on the verge of falling apart. Just because you are failing to keep each other happy, it does not mean that adding more people in the mix can make up for it. If both of you trust and love each other, then only can this work.
The bottom line is that a poly relationship can look easy and fun at the surface but there are many things to take care of once you decide to divide yourself, your time and your love. Consider it only if you are emotionally, mentally and physically capable of it.
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