12 Things to Avoid During Foreplay
12 Things to Avoid During Foreplay
The 4 from our Reel, plus 8 more that most of us get wrong. For him and for her.
Stop treating the clitoris like a DJ console. Don't forget the tip. Stop freestyling when they've told you what they like. And stop speeding through foreplay.
Came from the comments? Here are the 8 we couldn't fit in the Reel.
8 more things to avoid
- Starting coldForeplay doesn't begin in the bedroom. A flirty text, a long hug or a compliment earlier in the day does half the work before anything starts.
- Being half thereA phone buzzing on the bed or a mind still at work is easy to feel. Put the phone away and give each other your full attention.
- Rushing past the rest of the bodyThe neck, shoulders, back and hands are full of feeling. Slow kisses and touch there first make everything after feel better.
- Ignoring the small comfortsCold hands, long nails or an awkward position can pull anyone out of the moment. Trimmed nails, warm hands and a comfy space go a long way.
- Staying silentNobody can read minds, and guessing gets old fast. A soft "that feels good" or "a little slower" helps both of you.
- Making it one-sidedForeplay is for both people. If one of you is always giving and the other always receiving, switch roles and take turns.
- Doing the same thing every timeThe same moves in the same order start to feel like a checklist. Change where you start, the pace, or even the room.
- Taking feedback personallyWhen your partner moves your hand or asks for something different, it isn't criticism. It means they trust you enough to say it, so go with it.
Frequently asked questions
How long should foreplay last?
There's no fixed number. Keep going until both of you feel relaxed and ready, not until a timer says so. For a lot of people that's longer than they think.
My partner never tells me what they like. Now what?
Ask small, easy questions in the moment, like "slower or faster?". Or bring it up outside the bedroom, over chai, when there's no pressure.
Is foreplay only for women?
Not at all. Everyone's body likes a warm-up. Men enjoy slow touch, kissing and attention to their sensitive spots too.
Things feel dry or uncomfortable. Is that normal?
It happens to everyone sometimes. Slow down, spend longer warming up and keep a water-based personal jelly nearby. If it hurts or keeps happening, see a doctor.





